Monday, June 10, 2013

That Time I Was a Hooker

There are 3-4 other Ambers that use my email address by mistake on a regular basis, and by "by mistake" I mean "because they're idiots."
Over the past couple of years, I have received so many emails that didn't belong to me.  Emails with questions about orders I've placed for outdoor clothing and gear.  Requests for approval for a children's educational website I didn't sign up for.  Lesson plans for a middle school class.  Just last week, veterinary records spelling out in great detail some poor dog's rectal problems and potential solutions.  

On Saturday, it was a receipt from an Apple store, followed an hour later by an email from some sort of Craigslist-wannabe website where hookers 'escorts' post ads to get, ahem, business.  Even more horrifying, there was a link in the email to edit the ad.

I went on my usual mini-tirade about these people being intellectually deficient and that one's email address isn't something that should be forgotten so easily.  When I was done, hubby calmly said, "So, it's time to teach her a lesson.  Edit the ad to make her really cheap and really ugly."

I married a genius.  A genius, I tell you.  We got a good three days of humor out of that idea.

It would be highly entertaining if I could continue this story with a screenshot of the edited ad and a colorful story about how everything played out, and how well I got revenge on this moron. 

However.

*bawk bawk*

I thought about the kinds of men pathetic losers who would respond to such an ad, and what they might do to her if a money dispute arose during their time together.  What if she ended up in a ditch?  I couldn't do that to a stranger no matter what, but I especially couldn't do it to a lost soul such as this one.

But let me tell you, just the thought of doing it provided so much amusement that I didn't even need to execute the plan.

Maybe next time.