Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Happiness Smells Like...

It wasn't too terribly long ago that I was rifling through my nightstand, looking for something... most likely an iPhone cable, or some wayward stale chocolate from Halloween or something... and stumbled upon an empty bottle of this.

Isn't it funny how a smell can ignite a million thoughts and feelings in an instant?

It's Dave's cologne. He was wearing it the day we met. He wore it the first time we ever hung out together outside of work (and all the other times, too). He wore it when we went fishing and when we went to the movies. He wore it the day we got married. He was wearing it when we had to give Allie back and when Aidan was born. I can't even tell you how many times I've buried my face in his neck for a hug, a laugh, or a cry, and smelled this scent to the point that it's intoxicating to me.

Not only is it a scent that I really enjoy, it's become the smell of comfort to me. The smell of home. The smell of love and acceptance and safety.

I didn't know it would ever become any of those things, when I stole that bottle from his house over 15 years ago. (Give me a break, it was empty!) I was a 19 year old kid who accidentally found herself enamored with an older guy. I didn't in a million years think that I would actually catch him. That we would end up married with a beautiful little boy. To this day, I feel like the luckiest human being alive. No, really. I do. What did I do to deserve all this goodness?

I doubt he realizes that I still pull that bottle out from time to time, close my eyes and breathe in the smell just to bring me back to reality. As the years march on, I hope that I remember this feeling of gratitude and sheer happiness. Sometimes I have a tendency of getting really wrapped up in the day-to-day stuff and forgetting just how lucky I am.

And then he puts on his cologne, and everything is just right again.

And when it's not, I have a 16 year old empty bottle that I can sniff anytime I want.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.