I know I haven't mentioned it here yet, but November is National Adoption Awareness Month (NAAM)! I decided to lay low this year and didn't participate in any of the blog rings or interview projects. This is both because of time constraints and because although I am VERY proud to be an adoptive mommy, I feel like NAAM is geared more toward foster-adoption. Don't get me wrong, I'm good with that! Kids in foster care need immediate and serious assistance from very special people. I don't feel I could be an effective foster parent (but that's a whole other post).
Point is, I was cruising through some of the posts in my reader about adoption this morning and I ran across one that had me nearly leaping from my chair in joy. I just had to share it with you. Keep reading, the link is below.
You may remember a year or so ago, when I launched a little campaign aimed at a popular TV show, begging them to change the way they were handling an adoption storyline on the show. We ended up with a few thousand of signatures, and I was interviewed by (and written about in) Time Magazine, USA Today, the LA Times, and other major outlets. We know the producers were aware of the petition, but they chose to ignore it, and so it fizzled. I felt like I had still accomplished something, and I got people talking about it, so that was good enough for me. (Please note I didn't mention the show's name or any other specifics; that controversy died and I'd like it to stay dead in terms of people finding my blog!)
The only downside to all of that hubbub was the nasty messages I got from people who believe that adoption is a tragedy - some of them believe this regardless of any circumstances. They believe that the biological family is best for a child no matter what. Most of the people who messaged me were quite angry and bitter, and it became clear that for the most part, they were angry and bitter about their own past decisions or issues.
One woman in particular stuck out, as she was intelligent and articulate but very condescending and insulting toward me personally. (I'm not going to say her name here because I don't want Google seeing that, and also because I don't want to direct any extra attention to her lair of anger.) If you know me at all, you know I don't mind when people don't agree with me; I even enjoy a good debate if it's kept friendly. But these people who said such nasty things to me only reinforced my belief that they are just bitter about decisions they made in the past.
The woman that I referred to that was the worst of them, told me that my son is irreparably damaged, will never live a happy life, and would only be a shell of the person he would've been, had his birthmom raised him. She also compared me, as an adoptive parent, to a prostitute and a drug dealer. She insisted that adoption simply does not exist without the coercion and manipulation of birthparents. She is completely certain that every woman who chooses adoption for her child is forced into it by evil baby-hungry agencies or adoptive parents.
Yes, those exchanges were every bit as pleasant as you'd think.
I REALLY wish that this post I'm going to point you to existed at that time. I would have sent this link to her as a final word. It says everything I was too annoyed to say. And the author says it well. So please, go read this, and enjoy its honesty! I wish I'd written it myself!
An Open Letter to TV
Click that link there! Go!