Friday, September 30, 2011

What I Learned From the Stomach Flu

(Photo courtesy Ironic, no?)

Just when I thought I knew everything about everything (okay, maybe not)... I got the stomach flu.  Actually, as a friend pointed out, it wasn't a true influenza.  Most likely just some random stomach virus.  I don't like to think about how I contracted it.  *shudder*

I've had food poisoning a few times in my life.  It was awful.  Then I got this bug, and found out that food poisoning is like a week in Tinkerbell's castle by comparison.  Like, with free Mickey-shaped Belgian waffles every morning.

So, on to my list.  Things I learned from my "stomach flu":
  • It IS possible to lose eight pounds in 24 hours and not die.  Yes, this is a pound every three hours.  Any doctor would say that's unsafe.  I say it's the lone perk of this madness.
  • It is also likely that being sick enough to lose a pound every three hours makes any sane person WISH they would die.  Repeatedly.  There would've even been a cherry on top, had I been able to stomach the thought of cherries.
  • Gatorade makes prettier vomit than does hamburger.  (What, TMI?)
  • No matter what made me sick, whether food poisoning or something else, I do NOT want anything to do with the foods that came back up when I got sick.  The thought of a hamburger makes me want to toss my cookies even now.
  • When the fever breaks at 6am, I shouldn't go thinking I'll be up for working the same day.  Talk about wiped... out...
  • After being completely devoid of contents for several days, the gastrointestinal system does not particularly enjoy the re-introduction process.  It makes its discord known.
  • Ultimately, cheese pizza is the answer.

(Photo courtesy Google Images)

What?  Yes, I just said cheese pizza.

Doesn't seem to "go" with the stomach flu, does it?

Well, after the bug itself was long gone, yet I was still feeling like someone had taken a cheese grater to my stomach, I had occasion to visit Pizza Hut for a visit with Aidan's birthfamily.  (More on that later.)  I was seriously nervous about dumping something greasy and heavy like pizza on a stomach that had been so ripped up for several days.  However, I also figured I had nothing to lose.

I was right!

One slice of cheese pizza later, I started to feel... normal?!?!  It helped so much that I had another piece the next day.  Yup, same effect!  I'm a brand new woman.  Who knew?  Today, I even have my energy back, and my sense of humor too.

Oh, and I don't know about you, but I'm thinking this is a huge untapped advertising resource for Pizza Hut.  "Post-stomach-flu digestive complications?  Call us today for help!"

Just sayin'.


S.I.F. said...

You poor thing! I haven't had teh stomach flu in a very very long time (knock on wood), but I know it's just the worst! That said, I have always been a big believer in greasy food for hangover cures - wonder if that's the same concept as cheese pizza for the stomach flu cure?

Anonymous said...

There is nothing worse than the "yucky stuff." That is what we have called throwing up since Mack was 2. It has stuck around.

I am thinking that SIF may have something with the greasy food hangover concept...

Karen said...

No wonder I'm still not feeling well after my bout last week. I haven't had any cheese pizza. Maybe double cheese?