(Photo courtesy morningsick.org. Ironic, no?)
Just when I thought I knew everything about everything (okay, maybe not)... I got the stomach flu. Actually, as a friend pointed out, it wasn't a true influenza. Most likely just some random stomach virus. I don't like to think about how I contracted it. *shudder*
I've had food poisoning a few times in my life. It was awful. Then I got this bug, and found out that food poisoning is like a week in Tinkerbell's castle by comparison. Like, with free Mickey-shaped Belgian waffles every morning.
So, on to my list. Things I learned from my "stomach flu":
- It IS possible to lose eight pounds in 24 hours and not die. Yes, this is a pound every three hours. Any doctor would say that's unsafe. I say it's the lone perk of this madness.
- It is also likely that being sick enough to lose a pound every three hours makes any sane person WISH they would die. Repeatedly. There would've even been a cherry on top, had I been able to stomach the thought of cherries.
- Gatorade makes prettier vomit than does hamburger. (What, TMI?)
- No matter what made me sick, whether food poisoning or something else, I do NOT want anything to do with the foods that came back up when I got sick. The thought of a hamburger makes me want to toss my cookies even now.
- When the fever breaks at 6am, I shouldn't go thinking I'll be up for working the same day. Talk about wiped... out...
- After being completely devoid of contents for several days, the gastrointestinal system does not particularly enjoy the re-introduction process. It makes its discord known.
- Ultimately, cheese pizza is the answer.
(Photo courtesy Google Images)
What? Yes, I just said cheese pizza.
Doesn't seem to "go" with the stomach flu, does it?
Well, after the bug itself was long gone, yet I was still feeling like someone had taken a cheese grater to my stomach, I had occasion to visit Pizza Hut for a visit with Aidan's birthfamily. (More on that later.) I was seriously nervous about dumping something greasy and heavy like pizza on a stomach that had been so ripped up for several days. However, I also figured I had nothing to lose.
I was right!
One slice of cheese pizza later, I started to feel... normal?!?! It helped so much that I had another piece the next day. Yup, same effect! I'm a brand new woman. Who knew? Today, I even have my energy back, and my sense of humor too.
Oh, and I don't know about you, but I'm thinking this is a huge untapped advertising resource for Pizza Hut. "Post-stomach-flu digestive complications? Call us today for help!"